As a writer who does lots of freelance work, I’m always paying attention to the job sites and the latest writing gigs.  But lately I’ve noticed a disturbing trend.  No one wants to writers anymore, because no one wants actual content anymore.  Although any good marketer will tell you that “content is king,” website owners have shifted toward the idea of social media marketing.

For those of you who don’t know what social media is — we’re not all marketers after all — it’s pretty simple.  Social media means sites like Facebook, MySpace and Twitter.  It means themed social networks like Buzznet (for music fans) and LinkedIn (for business professionals).  Basically it’s any site where the bulk of the content is provided by the site’s users, rather than employees of the site.  And lately it has gone from a handful of well-designed websites like the aforementioned ones to a massive orgy of niche sites for every topic imaginable.

What this means for writers is that there are very few jobs left.  The people who are hiring writers are usually paying extremely low rates while asking the writers to write about incredibly focused topics.  For example, if you see a job ad looking for writers, it will probably say something like this:

“Seeking writers to write 300 word blog posts about self-cleaning oil tankers and their effect on the state of Wyoming.  We will pay $2 per post.  Tons of great exposure!  Visit selfcleaningoiltankerwyoming.com to get a feel for our site then send us 7 free samples for our site so we can decide whether we want to hire you!”

When I first started seeing ads like this, I was frustrated.  My immediate reaction was, “you mean you’re offering to pay me under minimum wage to write boring posts about something 3 people care about in order to gain ‘exposure’ on a site with half the traffic of my personal website, then rely on the comments of a bunch of people who are killing time at work to turn your site profitable?”  It was annoying.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s great that everyone can offer an opinion on the Internet, but every tour should have a guide, you know what I’m saying?

Of course, eventually I realized I was wrong.  Social media is the way of the future.  Why hire one “professional” to do a job when you could get the opinions of thousands of everyday people instead?  That’s why I suggest we immediately take social media marketing and translate it to other aspects of life.  For example…

Social Media Movies - The problem with movies is, you didn’t write them.  I didn’t write “Juno” and therefore it sucked!!  Ever see “Good Will Hunting?”  That movie was great, but what was up with the ending?  It was all sad.  What if you wanted a happy ending?!  Happy endings are the best!!  Well with the miracles of social media movies, you don’t have to worry about how well someone acts, or how good a script is, because you the moviegoer gets to act out the film in front of the theater and change the script however you see fit!!  And if the other attendees don’t like it, they get to step in and change things.  You can be whomever you want!  I call dibs on being Will Smith!!!  Shotgun!!!

Social Media Art - You know what sucks about Andy Warhol’s paintings?  They weren’t painted by you!!  But now with social media art, an artist draws a basic sketch (he gets no pay but great exposure!), and then we all take turns adding our own interpretations to the canvas.  I’ll bring the finger paint if you bring the Crayolas!

Social Media Doctors - Why have one jackass doctor perform surgery on you?  You’re only getting his opinion.  What if he’s wrong?  Everyone always talks about getting a “second opinion.”  Well, how about a thousandth opinion!!!  That’s right, we need a hospital where everyday folks take turns operating on you!!  Hell, they can even provide the diagnosis too!!  Your doctor thinks you have bronchitis?  Well too bad, because our users voted in an online poll and you’re getting your foot amputated!!!

Social Media Politics - I don’t even need to explain this one because it’s already happening.  Barack Obama is a walking viral YouTube video, and John McCain always talks about how he just works for the people.  Joe Biden is a man’s man, and Sarah Palin gives hope to the common person that they too can be Vice President, much in the same way Kevin Federline gave hope to men everywhere that they too could marry a pop star.  Who wants a jaded Washington insider anyways?  Those people who have been serving the country for 30 years, they’re out of touch!  We need to get the opinion of housewives in Kansas before we form our country’s legislation.  We don’t need politicians, we need you!  After all, you were Time Magazine’s Person of the Year in 2006!!

Social Media Construction - Everyone gets a turn at the jackhammer!  Just watch out for falling debris, because by joining our team of construction experts, you have agreed to assume all responsibility for getting hit on the head with a cement block.

Social Media Piloting - Man, pilots are annoying.  They just keep talking about what state you’re flying over, and when you should buckle your seatbelts.  No one wants to hear that!  With social media piloting, everyone gets a turn at the controls, and more importantly, at the loudspeaker.  You want to tell that story about the time you beat Grand Theft Auto 3 in just twenty minutes while piloting a flight from San Francisco to Boston?  You got it, buddy!!

Social Media School - You know what I hated about high school?  Stupid teachers always telling you what’s right and wrong!  What do they know?  That’s why we need social media schools, where the students decide what’s right and what’s wrong.  Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves?  Nope, sorry, we took a poll and it turns out it was Mike Hunt.  Thanks for making our country so great, Mike Hunt!  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to 8 study halls in a row.  I love my schedule!!

You see how great social media can be?  I can’t wait…  I mean, umm, WE can’t wait for these changes to happen!!